• the title is "light changes" • remove "once the light changes." • reorganize tense to have the cars chasing each other immediately after the title. • i like "w" sounds • due to stopping/starting theme, consider experimental punctuation.
"... She put her arms around me and felt my shoulder blades, to see if my wings were strong, she said. 'The bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings. It is a sad spectacle to see the weaklings bruised, exhausted, fluttering back to earth" -Kate Chopin
4 comments:
some hiatus.
• the title is "light changes"
• remove "once the light changes."
• reorganize tense to have the cars chasing each other immediately after the title.
• i like "w" sounds
• due to stopping/starting theme, consider experimental punctuation.
+2¢
(also: word authorization to comment was "redic")
what is this ultra-efficient crit format?!
i've always called them bullet points, but i've long felt that term is unnecessarily violent.
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