Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Worst Fear

Remember the summer
I swam to the end of the dock?

Worked my way up, life jacket-less,
despite my crippling fear of water.

Went out every day with
someone to watch from the pier.

Swam a few more feet each time
until I reached open water-

a place where I could no longer
touch bottom, and the dock ended
so no one dry could grab me
if I slipped under.

I waded there a moment or two
in suspended animation
a fantastic combination of
buoyancy and bravery.
Do you remember?

But this is not that summer
and the moxy I worked up
is gone I discover as I jump
in from the end of the dock

skipping all the shallow parts
near shore, the slow start that
gave me courage before

and here I am screaming,
flailing, struggling hard
no reachable sand beneath me

and in their panic
drowning people often
pull rescuers down with them.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

5 O'clock (another revision of Bravery)

I wonder how you feel
around 5 O'clock
when you come home from work

if we take the joy out from you
and drag it across the kitchen floor

Send you retreating into the old
rocker, battered, to sit for the rest of the night
in front of the three-channeled television.

Like the strange failure of waves from
the broadcasting networks to the
flimsy antennae of the tv,

your signals are never strong enough
to decipher. A little fuzzier as the
night goes on, until they are entirely

You switch off and lock yourself
away behind a bedroom door.

And one thought reruns in my head,
a consistent 5 o'clock syndication:

One day you will drop dead, and I won't know a
Goddamn thing about you.

Monday, July 6, 2009

lazy girl

it seems I have hit a bad case of writer's block
for now I am just home, hanging with my baby sister
drinking coffee with my mama
and reading a whole bunch:

"A Long Fatal Love Chase" -Louisa May Alcott
"Mexico City Blues, 242 Choruses"- Jack Kerouac
"You Come Too- collected children's poems"- Robert Frost
"Notes Toward a Supreme Fiction"- Wallace Stevens

the words will come back, they always do.